Day 1 : Back to Work

Three months have come and gone since I gave birth to our third child and first daughter. They have actually somehow managed to smudge themselves into each other and fly by quicker than ever. Time, it seems just goes by faster the older I get. Maybe its just more routine or 'smudging' that occurs as we get older either way today will be my first day back.
I wrote a letter to the new sitter last night and I fear she is going to think of me as a nut job on verge of a nervous breakdown. I know she has a vast amount of experience watching kids. Heck she has kids of her own! There is just something about putting faith, trust, and well TRUST into someone else watching your own kids. Will they still grow up to be the way they will be had I stayed home. How will the baby take the new transition? after all this will be the first day she has two bottles or more in one day. Will my boys take well to her and still love me as their mother and not their weekend and night time care taker? The list can go on for eons. All in well knowing that our decisons have been made to go back to work. We have unfortuately reached a time in the modern era where it takes two to work. Especially if we want to enjoy the luxuries of traveling to nice places on vacation, going out to dinner, have a decent holiday with family and friends, as well as being able to enjoy low cost health care, save for our retirements and build college funds for now three kids.
Maybe it does not bother me to go back to work as much as it does some other moms. I really dont know any different to be honest. My own mother worked as she raised three kids. She raised three kids pretty much on her own as well and we all turned out fine! We're not out slashing throats or robbing banks. We all have college degrees, two of us Masters, own our own homes, cars, etc. So you know the more I come to think of all this nervousness I have been going through the past couple of days may be for nothing after all. Sure, I will miss seeing my kids more during the day and being able to hear more of the small funny things they say to me throughout the day (which I started a book of quotes on), but in the end we all just have to sit down, pray about our directions in life and go with where the path leads us. It is to each of us we have our own paths in life but it is not the path we take or are given (however you see it) but how we walk along that path. Our attitudes are the most important to not only ourselves as we travel but to those around us as well. In a simple statement we all just have to "be here now". From that I will do my best to live in the moment for those that are around me in that moment.